“Love Contracts” Protect Employers When Workplace Romance Arises

This article about the challenges of workplace romance is the first in a series entitled “Employment Law in Focus.” You can find the second installment on resolving conflict in the workplace here and the third installment on the challenges of employee termination here.

Single and ready to mingle? Consider heading into the office, where you might find a workplace romance and be asked to sign a “love contract.”

Just over 40% of people have married someone they met at work, according to a survey by Forbes Advisor. What constitutes a workplace romance is different for everyone. A 2023 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that 40% of employees report flirting with someone in their workplace, 24% have gone on a date with a work colleague, and 17% of employees have been in an official relationship with someone from work.

Given the frequency of workplace relationships, most modern employees are comfortable with coworkers dating each other. But, as employers and managers know, workplace dating can be problematic. Most office romances begin and/or end without impacting work relationships. Others can damage careers.

When a breakup occurs, the employer may deal with reduced productivity, hurt feelings, or (worse) a harassment claim. Consider these possible scenarios:

• Two workers of the same rank and seniority, Joe and Adrienne, begin a relationship. Eventually, the relationship ends, but Joe does not want to move on. He persists in trying to win Adrienne back, despite multiple statements from Adrienne that she no longer wants to date Joe. Joe tries to convince Adrienne to take him back, and she submits a harassment complaint to the human resources (HR) department.
• A subordinate, Jim, begins dating his supervisor, Molly. Jim and Molly are happy, but other employees are not. Jim’s coworkers, Molly’s other subordinates, question whether Molly is giving Jim favorable assignments, and they worry that she is overlooking their accomplishments. Morale declines as time goes on, which affects productivity. A subordinate female employee submits a complaint that Molly is giving Jim preferential treatment.
• Robin and Kendra are colleagues who have been in a long-term relationship together. Robin recently notified HR that she and Kendra broke up months ago and that Kendra has been sexually harassing her ever since then. Robin produces romantic text messages, some even explicit, but the text messages could be construed as consensual. Kendra tells HR that she and Robin did not break up months ago, but they did recently have a fight, and Robin was so angry after the fight that she made up a story about Kendra harassing her.

“Love Contracts”

Due to situations like these, “love contracts” (also called “consensual relationship agreements”) have become popular with employers to mitigate some of the risks associated with workplace romances. In reality, a love contract functions as a disclaimer and agreement regarding how the employees will conduct themselves while in the relationship and even after it ends.

If the employees are co-equal, a consensual relationship agreement helps employers set expectations and boundaries to maintain the integrity of the work environment. If the relationship is between a superior and a subordinate, a consensual relationship agreement can reduce later liability for the employer. Although a relationship between a superior and a direct report is not per se unlawful under Title VII and most state laws, it is problematic. 

Suppose the direct report asserts that the supervisor was harassing them or was engaging in quid pro quo. A relationship agreement can constitute proof that the relationship was consensual. Conversely, if the relationship started as consensual but turned into one-sided harassment, as with Joe and Adrienne, a consensual relationship agreement may limit damages for the employer.

A relationship agreement should reinforce and complement formal company policies on relationships, sexual harassment, complaint procedures, ethical conduct, and general civility. It should clearly state that the relationship is consensual and was entered into freely and voluntarily. The agreement should include the employer’s right to change employees’ reporting structure or work assignments if the relationship creates a conflict of interest. It should set expectations regarding professionalism and instruct the parties to refrain from public displays of affection while at work.

Breakup Precautions

Additionally, the agreement should contain a provision requiring the employees to inform management or HR if the relationship ends. Employees should agree that if a breakup occurs, they will not engage in inappropriate or unprofessional conduct towards each other in the workplace and will not make any inappropriate or harassing attempts to “win the other back.” The agreement should include a clear disclaimer that employee-to-employee behavior outside of the workplace — for example, at a bar or on social media — can still constitute actionable harassment.

Workplace relationships should also be addressed in the employee handbook. Routine employee and managerial training to review company policy and educate employees on preventing harassment and discrimination is highly recommended. As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and a consensual relationship agreement is a worthwhile preventative.