After Getting Feedback, Should You Freeze, Fight, or Take Flight?

Relativity’s Sam Bock reports that receiving feedback at work can feel painful, even when it’s well-intentioned and constructive. But understanding how our brains react to criticism can help us transform it into a powerful tool for growth.

In the legal profession, where high stakes and shifting demands are the norm, adapting to feedback is critical. Despite this, even experienced professionals often struggle to receive critiques without becoming defensive or experiencing self-doubt. Neurologically, our brains interpret negative feedback as a threat, activating fight, flight, or freeze responses. This can trigger anything from impulsive arguments to emotional withdrawal, making it hard to process information.

Recognizing your typical reaction is the first step toward better feedback management. If your instinct is to fight, resist the urge to argue or jump to fixes without understanding the full scope of the feedback. If you take flight, focus on staying present and reminding yourself that the discomfort is temporary and will ultimately lead to improvement. If you freeze, communicate openly about needing time and space to absorb the input.

Intentionality doesn’t end with the conversation. After receiving feedback, take time to regulate your emotions. That may mean pausing for reflection, gathering external perspectives, or simply taking a rest. Each response style—fight, flight, or freeze—requires different self-care strategies to help reengage productively and constructively. 

After your initial reflection, respond promptly and thoughtfully. Show that you value the person’s feedback by demonstrating how you’re using it and, when possible, include them in your efforts to improve. Over time, actively soliciting feedback in low-pressure situations helps build resilience. It also trains your mind to perceive critiques as opportunities rather than threats. 

Reframing feedback as a learning tool cultivates a growth mindset, which emphasizes development over perfection. Embracing feedback gracefully can build trust, sharpen your skills, and reinforce your value in any organization. Perfection isn’t the goal. Progress is.